makes my job easier to take on in times of distress. i subscribe to this newsletter for educational humor from Education World, one of my favorite teaching websites. each week i get a newsletter with all sorts of humor related to education. well, this week i cannot resist sharing part of it. i had to laugh out loud. :)
REAL HEADLINES, FAKE COMMENTS
REAL HEADLINE--Bush: NCLB Meant to Help, Not Punish Schools--President Bush, acknowledging public frustration over the No Child Left Behind Act, said the point of the law is not to punish struggling schools, but to help them.
FAKE COMMENT--Let’s establish No Corporation Left Behind with the same logic, then. All of a corporation’s employees must make Adequate Yearly Progress toward the same salary (score) that their top employees – their CEOs – achieve. Any corporation whose employees fail to make such progress for three years in a row would be taken over by the government.
REAL HEADLINE--Portables Face Test Under Noise Law Portable classrooms in the Colchester, Connecticut, school district are the first to face scrutiny under the state's new noise standards for classrooms.
FAKE COMMENT--Appropriately, portable boom-boxes are being used to administer the test.
REAL HEADLINE--Students Sue Antiplagiarism Web Site
FAKE COMMENT--Unfortunately, the lawyers representing the students were found to have copied several whole passages in the complaint from other lawyers.
REAL HEADLINE--Principals' Salaries Fall Behind Cost of Living
FAKE COMMENT--Kids being called to the principal’s office being shaken down for lunch money.
REAL HEADLINE--Study: Software No Help for Reading, Math Scores
FAKE COMMENT--Software being tested was “Spore.”
REAL HEADLINE--Students Get Laptops Instead of Books
FAKE COMMENT--Have to be reminded for first three weeks not to write on screen.
REAL HEADLINE--NCLB Taxing Testing Companies
FAKE COMMENT--But only at the extremely low capital gains rate.